Rhythms vs. Resolutions
Well it’s February, how are those resolutions going?
Some of us have pushed through the thirty-day barrier for lifestyle change. We may have finally broken through to the other side regarding some nagging habits in our lives. To the contrary, most of us saw our resolutions fade out in January like TV shows on NBC. We’ll check back with you successful resolution-keepers in another month. Not to be entirely pessimistic, but the odds are not in your favor.
So, you can tell I am not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I wholeheartedly believe in transformation toward healthy living in all facets of our lives. I do believe it’s possible, even worthy of our undivided attention. I’ve spent much of my life helping people do just that – change.
Sadly, New Year’s resolutions often operate in a dangerous paradigm. They are ritualistic; make a vow/define a goal, follow the rules, and try really hard…harder than last time. Inherently, resolutions, like rituals don’t allow much grace, flexibility, improvisation, or forgiveness. Typically their rigidity doesn’t account for the human element – us. We don’t live well under vows like, “No longer will I eat chocolate past 7pm, ever…until I die.” Or, “I will go to the gym every day at 5:45AM…even on Christmas Day.” Or, “No more waffle fries, I’m going cold turkey.” This resolution-ary ritualistic approach sets us up for failure. A ritualistic grunt-it-out approach leads to an endless cycle of stress, guilt, and shame without lasting change.
Our passionate desire for change is commendable, necessary, even God-given. It’s our approach that needs adjustment. Resolutions lack rhythm and grace. Real change requires graceful rhythm. Grace is a loaded word that would take volumes to unpack. In its simplest form in the context of daily life change, grace is divine empowerment. It’s inner strength beyond any will power we can muster. It is the 'Christ in us' of Christianity at work.
Officially, rhythm is a repeating pattern of beats, accents, themes, etc. Think of music, waves, movies, design, etc. You’ve heard a lyric-less elevator song that sounded familiar. After a moment you recognize the song. This is Elvis….as elevator music! (Sorry it’s come to this Elvis). You recognized the rhythm of the song, it’s repeating pattern of notes or tones.
The manner in which this repeating occurs is often left to who or what creates and sustains the rhythm. Rhythm can be easily adjusted, twisted, stripped down or made full. It can be slowed down or sped up. We can mix it with other rhythms creating poly-rhythms or cross-rhythms. Also, rhythm allows for personal improvisation like we hear in jazz music. Rhythm and grace make great partners. Most of us sorely need more rhythm and grace in our lives.
If we really want change, lasting change, we have to approach life with rhythmic grace rather than ritualistic grunting. This means we trade our resolutions for grace-filled rhythms by determining and establishing healthy rhythms then trusting God in and through us to sustain them. We find our groove and dive into it each day. We give ourselves fully to our “new” rhythms but remain flexible, handling ourselves with care.
This approach calls for us to ruthlessly accept and forgive ourselves regularly in order to break the cycle of guilt, shame, and failure. We will surely miss a beat now and again. Our healthy rhythms don’t end when we lose the beat or completely drop out of tune. We can always re-attune in a single moment by stopping, taking a deep breath, remembering our rhythm, and reentering it. Over the long haul, regularly consider your rhythms, make needed adjustments, and move to your groove. And your beat goes on.