Artie Sposaro

Yes, the holidays are upon us...already. Next week begins the holiday season when time officially moves into fast forward mode. On top of our normal activities there’s shopping, party planning, party attending, and card writing along with extra cooking, cleaning, traveling, and family. It’s really easy for us to get off balance spiritually and otherwise with everything that life throws at us this time of year. This being the case, I want to offer some suggestions that will prepare and support our souls through the all the upcoming festivities.

Pre-thanks. Some pre-holiday reflection is always good idea. Before the holiday season gets into full swing, take some time to think and pray over this past year. Really contemplate what you are thankful for...rather than offering the usual at the Thanksgiving dinner table just seconds before diving into turkey and dressing. Pre-thanks gives us time to really think through our year and even write down some thoughts. It allows us to give genuine thanks to God and others for our life and its richness.

Invite. Consider inviting someone to your Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year’s festivities who has no meaningful place to go. Keep an eye out for people that God may be nudging you to invite into your holiday season. This will likely benefit them and you in ways that may not be superficially or immediately apparent. Meaningful connection is important for everyone, especially this time of year.

Serve. A great way to spend time during the holiday season is to volunteer. Consider where you can invest some time. You can easily do this through a church or a local non-profit. Research has shown that helping the well-being of others helps our well-being. Beyond the actual service to others, giving of our time or finances gives us more meaning and perspective. Remember the words of Jesus, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others...” We are meant to walk in step with his spirit of service.

Exercise. I know, I know...everyone tells you to exercise more often. There is a reason for that. Among various other benefits, exercise is a proven stress buster. This season can be the most stressful and depressing time of the year for many of us. If we’ve lost someone close to us recently or we’re facing financial difficulties (or both), this season brings a lot of strain. Exercise reduces the weight of disappointment and depression. Speaking of weight, in a season when you will certainly be moving your jaw more often, it’s always beneficial to move your whole body more often.

Me-time. The holiday season surrounds us with people. Shopping people, party people, and family people will be invading our personal space very soon. It will be easier to tolerate crowds at the stores, party after party, and that annoying family member if you have taken some time to pull away and refresh your soul. Make a point to pull away for your sanity’s sake. Related to me-time, I will be leading a reflective day retreat entitled “Off the Grid” on Dec. 4. If you would like more information about it email me at: artie@artiesposaro.com.

Acknowledge God’s presence throughout your holiday season. Pay attention to the people God has put in your life. God is with you and you are richly blessed. In the midst of the upcoming season steal some moments to just “be” with God, yourself, and others. Happy Holidays.

(This post was originally published in the Henry County Times, November).

I spent last week at the beach in Florida. This was an extraordinary surprise. For months, my wife and I had been wondering if and when we would get a break. Life was really wearing us down and a real vacation anytime soon was out of the question. Neither the timing nor our finances would allow us to take a restorative extended pause.

Then, one evening a few weeks ago I received an email from a couple in my church. I had never officially met them. They acknowledged that they barely knew us and admitted that the content of their email may seem strange. They went on to say that they own a beach house in Florida and that they had a strong sense God was leading them to offer us a week at it for free. Normally the house is rented, but one week in mid-September was available.

They followed through with the offer knowing that we would likely not be able to accept since we have three kids in school. They were shocked and pleased when I explained to them the incredible timing of their offer. I explained that we were in dire need of time away and the week available matched our kid’s fall break from school.

This little divine arrangement may seem like a small grace, but to us it was an extremely big small grace. It refreshed us, provided us with quality family time, and encouraged our faith. It also affirmed the faith of the couple that owns the house.

Big small graces happen in our lives in many ways every day. They range from gifts we barely notice to life itself – from breathing to a near death experiences. God often orchestrates big small graces in a mysterious fashion. They are not always straightforward. These graces often include unexpected people, places, and timing. I believe these mysterious gifts mean to refresh our faith in God and others.

Big small graces can be difficult to receive. Often they overwhelm us. Even as providential as our vacation seemed, I wrestled with guilt. How could we receive such a gift? Plenty of people are worse off, and struggling through without a break. Why should we get a break? We were truly humbled by the experience.

Big small graces humble us. Something out of our reach or beyond our control is given to us. Big small graces are reminders of God’s ongoing activity in our lives. All too often we try, push, arrange, manipulate, and strive to no avail. Meanwhile, God glides making things happen, effortlessly. When he does, it makes us feel silly for all of our fretting and sweating.

God is proficient at big small grace giving. It’s his nature. God’s grace continually flows into our lives. Because big small graces are in fact grace, they don’t occur because we put on a good face. They happen because God is God. God loves beyond reason and without an obligation to explain his timing, instruments, or methodology. I believe it brings God pleasure to love us in the mysterious form of big small graces.

Given God’s penchant for these graces, let’s recognize, receive, and even expect them. Let’s keep our eyes open for big small graces in our life. Embrace and enjoy them fully. Also, let’s participate in God’s grace-giving to others. Having just been on the receiving end of one of these big small graces, I know I will.

This article was originally published in the Henry County Times, September.

No too long ago I had a thick goatee. After wearing it for many years I shaved it off (much to my family’s chagrin). My current employer doesn’t permit goatees. I speculate that this has to do with goatee-associated cultural stereotypes. To some, goatees and the people attached to them have been characterized as unkempt, rebellious, coarse, or unprofessional. Many companies don’t desire to risk sending these kinds of messages about their people or their brand. I don’t believe the majority of people today think negatively about goatees, but I also don’t think a “no beard” policy is unwarranted. It all depends upon what messages you want to be sure to communicate or not communicate. Message awareness is important for companies and for us as individuals as well.

You may have heard it said that the medium is the message. Everything about the way we communicate something communicates as much or more than what we actually intend to communicate. The way is as much the message as the what. We send messages with our posture, attitude, tone of voice, gestures, clothes, hairstyle, shopping patterns, personal habits, and yes…even our facial hair or lack there of. The type and location of our house sends a message. The type and condition of our vehicle sends a message. Our job title sends a message. Our work ethic sends a message. Etc. Etc. Etc. This being said, the medium doesn’t always give fair representation. Culture rather than character oftentimes dictates the meaning of these messages.

Everything communicates, and we can’t always control what people interpret. Sometimes they misread us, i.e. I’m not unkempt, rebellious, coarse, or unprofessional…most of the time. My lawn maintenance irregularity serves as another simple example. I’m not great at keeping my grass cut. This may lead my neighbors to believe that I’m lazy, sloppy, irresponsible, or all of the above. In reality, my lack of lawn maintenance has to do with the lack of free time in my life. I would rather spend my ‘extra’ time with my wife and kids rather than cutting the grass every time it grows an inch or two. This higher priority sends a meaningful message that my neighbors may never get. I can live with that.

Our choices create an overall lifestyle that sends a message. The reality that everything sends a message can be overwhelming. How can we pay attention to everything all the time? Rather than stressing out, just be more mindful and prioritize. Let your true self and related priorities guide your choices and therefore the messages you most desire to send. Don’t buy into pretentious, godless materialism and self-preservation. Simply live into being who God created you to be without any charade. Engage in an intimate ongoing conversation with God about who you truly are and how to have him dictate your life. Don’t obsess over what others might think or waste time worrying about your life being misread. Fully live.

In the longer term our consistent life-message becomes a model. To model is to lead by example. I believe modeling is the most powerful human change agent available. The late Thomas Merton wrote, “The saint preaches sermons by the way he walks and the way he stands and the way he sits down and the way picks things up and holds them in his hands.” We are God’s message. The medium and the message are the message. Our whole life speaks. Let’s have it speak of God and God’s love.

Be mindful of who you really are and the messages you are sending.

Message sent.

(This post was originally published in Henry County Times, August 2010)